A Day In The Country, Dalat

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Ro








One day while we were in Dalat, in the central highlands of Vietnam, we took a day tour with our new friend Rot who ran the guest house we stayed in. There were 9 of us in a minivan.
Rot is a gregarious fellow with a wicked sense of humor. The photo was taken with his neice at his family farm. Oh yeah he is also very handsome!
Rot was born into a poor family with 12 kids. At age 12 his family allowed him to be adopted by a family in the town who own the guesthouse he runs. He said that everyone says he's lucky to have spent part of his life in town but sometimes he doesn't feel lucky because he now has two families to feel responsible for. His village family has had a change of fortune because the government gave them their farm and now the price of coffee is very high so they can make a decent living.
The next four pictures are of the view from our balcony when we got home from our day with Rot. One of the things we did was to stop at a mushroom growing farm. You can see the mushrooms hanging as they grow and then drying in the sun. Mushrooms are in many Vietnamese dishes.
The next pictures show a curry pod, dried on the plant, and then the open pod. On the outer part of the seed is a red powder which he put on all the girls lips like lipstick. We all looked like clowns!
The big landscape pictures were views we saw that day. We were really high up on a plateau.
We also stopped at a stunning waterfall. We walked down underneath through a cave that came out nearly under the falls. I don't know how Philip got the picture without ruining the camera. We were all soaked from the spray.
Rot stopped at a local market and took us through showing us different things. He bought every kind of fruit there and at lunch he showed us how to eat them. It was great because we saw many of them but didn't even know if they were fruit or vegetables. He said that it's not proper for men to bargain and that in the mornings you shouldn't bargain much as it's considered bad luck for the day for the seller. The hard part for foreigners is that many times you know they are asking tons more than they would ask of a Vietnamese. We never mind paying a little more but sometimes it's crazy.
In the market I took a picture of the bicycle with all the stuff on it. I then took a picture from the back and realized that the bike had no tire!

Over a fantastic vegetarian lunch that his buddist nun sister made us, Rot told us some of the customs of Vietnam. You know in some of the motorcycle pictures people were wearing masks? Well it wasn't to keep from breathing polution , it was to keep their skin from darkening! In Vietnam if you want to compliment someone you say they are fat, white and have a big nose. They really value fair skin and they think to be solid or fat is to be happy and healthy. Most Vietnamese have sort of flat noses and they like a bigger nose. In fact he told us many people are having cosmetic surgery to make tham larger! By the way this is much the same in Thailand. We went out with a Thai couple on New Years eve and she had subtly drawn her makeup from her eyebrow down her nose to make it appear larger. Of course the amazing thing is that they have a wonderful physique and have beautiful features.

The entire country is gearing up for Tet which is their New Year. On Tet everyone becomes one year older! Nobody celebrates their birthday and most people don't know when their real birthday would be based on the date they were born. The date they celebrate is the day their ancestors died. Mother, father, grandmother etc.. They go to the market where you can buy anything under the sun, all made of paper or cardboard. Money, clothes, phones,computers, motorcycles and anything else a person might want. They believe that if they celebrate and burn this it will go to the ancestor in the afterlife. They have a huge party to celebrate and burn the items for the person.

Rot also told us about the traditional Vietnames family of which there are many. The large cities are getting more western values though. He said that a woman stays at home and looks after home and children. Her husband is waited on hand and foot and then goes out to drink coffee or booze with his friends or to play cards or pool. The woman doesn't go. If a woman drinks or smokes she is considered to be a prostitute! The only time she really goes out is to a wedding or a family party to honor the dead, where she can take a drink. Once a woman marries into a family she has to ask permission of her inlaws to do anything, even see her own family. For instance his brother got married 3 years ago and his wife hasn't seen her family since and has only gone out about 3 times! Rot was engaged to a woman for three years and he said in all that time nothing happened. He had to ask her parents permission to take her out for coffee or a drive and often they refused. He would like to see the customs change. I feel a bit for him because he is caught between two worlds and may never be happy in a traditional marriage. He also feels obligated to get married before too long. He is 33 years old.
One last thing he told us was that the youngest son inherits the family home and business and has to take care of the parents as they grow old.